Well, nearly 4 months later but I knew our Good Lord would help me get around to it eventually. It has been a blessing that I have been too busy to write as I have had a lot of time to think about your story, from the very beginning and He continues to shed more and more light of how our Father was intimately involved
But there is something very unique about your story. Maybe it is because it was the 1st time where I felt the least amount of control, the least prepared, the most vulnerable, and I had to lean on God’s grace more than ever before, which ironically, became the easiest and smoothest transition for me physically,emotionally and mentally. Perhaps it is precisely because your story is full of irony and being that our God is the master of irony, I felt His presence, experienced His humor, sensed His laughter, heard His voice and saw the way He works in a brand new way.
Before you even entered into the world, God was using you powerfully to bring me so much closer to the Holy Trinity. Without ever speaking a word, you, my son, have taken my faith to new heights and depths that I never imagined possible.
Your name. It came as clearly and quickly as a sudden downpour of rain. Its origin in Hebrew, it means “feller”, that is, fierce or “hewer” which means to strike forcibly with an axe, sword or other cutting instrument. And you have been fulfilling your identity since the moment of your conception. This is no coincidence. It was as if while you were growing inside of me, I could feel the essence of you, Gideon, hewing a forest of thorny bushes of fear, bad habits and wounded, hardened parts of my heart that blocked me from hearing more clearly the voice of Jesus; and in giving birth to you, you birthed within me a fierceness, a quiet yet dramatic interior strength that is otherwise inexplicable. It humbles me to the core what God has done through you to bless me, to strengthen the unity in our marriage and to give immeasurable joy to all your siblings.
Without uttering a single word.
He knew that you were needed.
In keeping with Baby Soto tradition, you were not showing much of an eagerness to exit my bloated, achy body, however, due to my exhaustion and successful history of induction outcomes, I decided I was ready to meet you, 1 day shy of 40 weeks. As usual, we were running late to our check-in time but by 8:40am, everything was set up and the Pitsson was making it’s way to my uterus.
Daddy found a really cool video of Gideon of the Bible to watch to help pass the time.
Around 2:30pm, a nurse came in who was giving the scheduled shift nurse a break. She asked if I wanted to be checked and although I really wanted to wait until things had progressed more and the nurse I was comfortable with returned, I caved into the curiosity. She called my cervix 4-5 cm. I was a little discouraged. But you were responding to the meds perfectly, contractions were regular and intense and after 5 times of practice, I finally learned the way to relax and breath through them. I updated family and friends.
Shortly after, I requested the epidural. And then, things began to happen. By 4pm, I was feeling a lot of pressure in my bottom. The nurse checked me again and said I was at 9cm! I was ecstatic.
Enter Dr Fiorentino.
I praise God for such an excellent Doctor. For such an excellent man who was so encouraging, edifying, supportive, funny, sympathetic and patient with what questions and concerns I had in the short amount of time I had with him during our office visits.
4:38pm. 7 pounds, 8 ounces, 22 inches. The lightest and longest baby (thus far) although you felt like you were 10 pounds and 25 inches in there 😉
But suddenly, the sleepless nights, the achy back and pelvis, the flabby thighs, the atrophied stomach muscles and the stretch marks seemed like such a weak sacrifice for you, to gaze into your eyes. To see you face to face. My incredible, amazing, sweet yet fierce son.
And I felt nothing but pride.
It reminds me and gives but a tiny glimpse into what the Father must have felt when at Jesus’ baptism, He proclaimed, “My beloved son of whom I am well pleased”
Oh, yes, so well pleased.
This next shot is the perfect depiction of the impressions and mental images I received many times during the last few months of your pregnancy. Sure, it might be a common newborn posture when lifted up, naked and cold but it is exactly what God imprinted in my heart when He gave me your life to mother.
Ready to do His will.
(Number Six looks good on you, my Love)
As quickly as possible, at her very strong request, (& against those suggestions for one hour of alone bonding time) we called for your biggest fan throughout it all…Elated doesn’t even begin to describe her emotions to meet you.
8 grandkids in, Super-Bapa is a pro at this baby holding 😉
24 Hours later, I requested to go home. I couldn’t help it. And I knew that even 6 little ones would allow me more rest than the continual testing, questioning, poking, prodding, reminding, and more questioning.
And there were still several extremely eager ones just waiting in anticipation to hold, kiss, nurture and love on you…
You are our slice of heaven! You make us more complete, more alive, more full of Love and closer to our Creator than we would have otherwise been!
I truly can’t imagine life without you and I love you with everything I am.