I can feel it from the hidden depths of my heart all the way to the outward purple stretch marks on my belly.
It’s the word, the message the Lord keeps speaking.
It began when she was born and the message has only gotten stronger and louder.
Yes, of course, Lord. It seems like the most obvious message for us. We have a 6th baby scheduled to arrive in just under 3 weeks. S i x children in just over eight years. The preparation has not ceased. There are still clothes to sort through and wash given by sweet friends and generous neighbors, furniture to rearange to make a space for baby boy’s new sleeping quarters. (and since Daddy’s home office is now in our bedroom, we’re having to get very creative with our space) and the list goes on. But I can almost feel him chuckle as if to say that’s not what He’s concerned about. He’s after my heart. He wants to strengthen my character. He’s preparing me for something I simply can’t prepare for on my own.
And yet at the same time, I try and let go to allow Him to see it through to completion.
It’s rather bitter-sweet what the Lord asks of us 😉
While I desperately yearn for the control that I have the capability to prepare for yet another soul entrusted to me, to mother, to nurture, to teach, to love on and to be an instrument of His work in fulfilling His plans, I know better and I have to trust that He will use my efforts, my limited notion of love, even my weaknesses, and his grace will complete the rest. There is so much freedom in that relationship. In finding that balance.
That I’m about to birth my 6th child.
Any combination of them. And then, all together. It all makes sense.