On Being a Momma

I spent the beautiful day today at the park with 2 of my favorite momma’s and 12 (of our 14) kiddos in tow (Yes, I’m including my little Yvette who is now full-term and most definitely qualifies as “in tow” status) and while I was waiting for them, since we were the first to arrive, I struck up a conversation with another momma at the sand pit who was there with her son. Since Alizea & Genevieve were already out of sight on their 2nd and 3rd time down the slides and across the monkey bars, I could tell she was trying to figure out if I was on my 3rd pregnancy as I reminded Soren to thank the boy for sharing his trucks and encouraged Amelie to share the toys we brought. Once it came out that I was about to have my 5th baby and she picked her jaw off the floor and came back after relaying the news to what looked like her mom in Japanese, she asked “How do you do it?” I chuckled, mumbling something about “One day at a time“, not sure whether she was actually wanting some profound, magical answer or just making small talk before she continued on….

In hindsight, I wish I could’ve told her of the immense joy I experience to witness my 6 year old learning truths from Holy Scriptures that I didn’t learn until well into my 20’s (and ongoing)

DSC_0642aThat the sibling bond is like nothing else in the world

DSC_0619aAnd to be able to gift that to my children is more rewarding than any luxury or comfort I could temporarily gain.

DSC_0659aThat most days it is my 4 1/2 year old who gives me the strength, the encouragement, the compassion and the sense of humor I need to fight through the fatigue, the discomfort or flat out pain of carrying yet another child in my womb.

DSC_798aThat when I see my 2 year old son opening the door for his little sister, finding her “blankie” on his own and bringing it to her when she is upset, my heart explodes with pride and love.

DSC_0764aI wish I could’ve explained how God has blessed us with an incredible community of like-minded friends who support each other with their courageous example, their words, their deeds and their constant prayers!

DSC_0753aThat I have a wonderful husband who, despite his idiosyncrasies, faults, and differences, supports me, edifies and respects me, helps me become the best version of myself, loves me, and makes me laugh until my belly baby hurts 😉

DSC_0786aThat yes, there are times when it is painfully frustrating, exhausting and confusing, but could I really miss out on this face, this l i f e  because of some deep rooted fear??? (ie, I can’t imagine life with more than 2 kids)

DSC_717aAnd that, of course, God’s grace is sufficient…

….But instead, I explained in a very logical, practical manner how my 2 older daughters are very helpful and self-sufficient; that my “baby” girl is going through a smooth phase and sleeping well and that the above mentioned face was my difficult one at the moment. She nodded and shared how her adorable 2 year old boy who, by the way, had the most innocent face and was about 1/2 the size of Soren, throws the biggest tantrums that can go on and on for up to 30 minutes. I laughed in agreement and sympathetically confessed that my little guy had one of those very fits right before leaving for the park. She acted surprised, as most 1st time mother’s do, who don’t ever imagine or expect that at the tender age of 2, their little cherub is capable of behaving like he were being taken over by a demon, making you feel crazy and helpless and questioning every act of motherly service you have ever performed and every decision-making capability you posses, all the while handing them every possible toy or edible creation they could possibly need or want in a desperate plea to get them to shut up! It was also obvious she thought she was the only one who had one of those “difficult children”.  I just nodded and said “Oh i know” and then she meekly asked “Do you just let them go?”  I jokingly answered “It depends on my mood” and shared that in most cases, I try to use some sort of discipline because he needs to know who’s boss and that tantrums aren’t acceptable or good for either one of us. I also told her distraction works wonders too, especially if they are just tired and there’s not much reasoning with them. (Thank you momma for you have mastered that art with the wee little ones) She hesitantly but gratefully smiled.  At that point, our friends arrived and I praised her son for sharing all of his toys and smiled at his youthful, pretty momma. I hope she left encouraged, held her head a little higher and maybe walked away thinking as I so often have, “If she can do it. So can I!!!”

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