15 minutes prior, these 2 were playing tug of war outside over the swing, until tears were present on both faces. With Soren at my feet squeaking for me to pick him up and as I was
having trying to have a conversation with my cousin, I was visualizing blood and a trip to the ER (no joke).
Sweet G requested that “Shasha read me book peeeeese???” and not only did Spicy comply but she picked 3 of her favorite books for her to choose from, went out of her way getting up on her tippy toes and staying there to show her the pictures and allow her baby sis to pop the bubbles on each and every page.
And that’s how it goes. Nearly every day. Up and down. My blood pressure, that is. Along with the mood swings and emotions and hormones! And oh, is it wearying. Then there’s Soren. And anyone who’s observed him for any length of time can attest to the fact that the boy is a boy. He’s a mellow, content little guy. He’s not emotional. He doesn’t cry just because he’s sad or angry or because someone looked at him the wrong way. Not too much phases him and if it does, he gets over it and moves on. Fairly quickly. And that is why daddy and I joke that this baby better be another boy. 😉
But, one thing I’ve been reflecting on lately as I wonder and wonder and wonder the sex of baby 4 is how God has blessed our family with exactly what we have all needed in His perfect timing.
Spicy. Oh my, you are a spicy one. At the time, I knew nothing different. I thought all babies cried for 45 minutes to fall asleep every. single. night. for months and months and months. I thought all toddlers climbed out of their cribs at 18 months, making a *thud* that I could hear from the other room, screaming and making mommy (who was by herself while daddy was almost 7 thousand miles away from home serving our country) age about 50 years and nearly head to the hospital to check for broken bones. Now, 2 babies later, I see otherwise. 😉 You are extremely strong-willed, extremely joyful, extremely passionate, extremely smart, extremely fun & energetic and an extremely challenging little one. You have a special zeal for life and living and people and you have a hard time slowing down and being alone. But you were exactly what I needed for my 1st child, especially being a single mom for most of your 1st year and a half. You challenged me, you toughened me up and made me grow in so many areas, so quickly, especially in areas that daddy is stronger in and that I probably would’ve avoided had he been home. I see how you kept me so incredibly busy (mainly mentally and emotionally although you are extremely physical as well) that I honestly didn’t have too much time to dwell on my better half being away. God used you tremendously (as ugly as it seemed at the time) to assist in daddy’s reintegration and the difficulty we had in coming together again emotionally and with major communication barriers. At the tender age of 18 months, God used you. Big time. You are the fire and spark in our home’s hearth.
And then came Sweet G. And oh, are you sweet. You were the calm in the middle of the storm. Again, God used your personality and characteristics to bring such balance and harmony to our threesome. You are strong in a different way. You have your moments and will express yourself (especially when you haven’t gotten your precious nap, or you’re getting way too smothered which happens quite often) but you are naturally compassionate, polite, well mannered, kind, patient, cooperative and so, so sweet. You have influenced your sister for the better and God has used you to help shape her weaknesses into strengths (as well as ours) from the day you were born. It’s amazing to me when I look back to see how powerfully God can use a tiny, helpless baby to strengthen a marriage and a family. And although you and Spicy are polar opposites (from skin tone to hair type to personality) you 2 possess an incredibly beautiful friendship that I learn from daily. You love each other with a love incomparable. You are the embers that keep our fire burning.
And then our 1st male of the bunch. Soren, you were nothing like I anticipated. I had no clue a boy would be so tender, so loving to his momma, so well tempered, so independent, so good to his sisters, so easy, so handsome 😉 and so much fun! And that’s exactly what this momma needed at the time! I never imagined dressing you in little boy clothes would be so fun and oh, how I enjoy styling your hair without the tangles and bows and parts and whining. This mother-son relationship is indescribable and I feel so blessed whenever I hold you and kiss you.
And so as the sealed envelope sits tucked away in my purse for another few days (talk about a good exercise in patience) ;), the anticipation and excitement is increasing by the second to discover a lot more about this growing life inside of me! I can’t wait to name you and to start praying for you by name. I can’t wait to include you, by name, in our family conversations. I can’t wait to start pulling out your clothes (because we have plenty of both gender) and wondering (a little more specifically) what your little face will look like. Whether boy or girl, I know you will be exactly what Alizea, Genevieve, Soren, Daddy and I need. And, exactly what this world needs as God fulfils His will through you and uses you for purposes beyond this life. (But I can still desire a boy, right?) 😉
For you created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of the came to be.