Last week was
rough interesting. It’s really a sort of blur now but I do know I felt completely lost. As though I was drowning and I needed someone to yank me out of the water. I felt out of control, really. From the moment I awoke, I felt this haze in my head & I couldn’t think clearly enough to switch from reactive mode to some sort of proactive leadership. I felt as though the day just slipped by and I spent it putting out fires, only to turn to face another mess again and again and again. I couldn’t get a hold of any sort of schedule or routine, not to mention the mounds of laundry, the dishes, the floor, the homeschooling, the dinner or my emotions and thoughts, and it took everything within me not to fall all over Dean the second he had 1 foot in the door, spewing my complaints, my frustrations, my weaknesses all over him. By the time 7pm came, I was completely exhausted. The thought of undressing, bathing, dressing, brushing, enticing, carrying, reading, even praying was overwhelming. I would literally lie on the floor falling asleep feeling so sorry for myself and wishfully thinking somehow everyone would forget about me lying there in the middle of the living room. It was only because of Dean’s motivating pep talk and the fear of shattering our combined efforts over the past 4 weeks to get all 3 little ones trained and asleep by 8-8:30 pm and consequently losing my prize (1-2 hours of peace, solitude, quiet adult time) that I was able to push through each night.
This week was much different. Remember how I said I needed someone to yank me out of the quicksand? (oh yeah, it was water, well, you get the point). That someone was my mom. She
strongly suggested an outing to the beach with some exercise as top priority. So 2 strollers later, we were jogging on the boardwalk, smiling at strangers and breathing in the fresh salt water air. It literally felt as though with each bead of sweat that ran down the sides of my face all of the stress and toxins were leaving my body. The fresh air cleared my mind and brought so much relief and strength to my aching, tired muscles. The girls squealed and shouted with excitement pointing at the birds (To my surprise, Alizea knew the Seagulls from the Pelicans), the dogs, the sand and water. Even Soren was wide-eyed taking in his unique view of the new adventure. Yes, we had to stop for a hyperventilating, out of shape momma potty breaks, for nursing, for dragging blankets, for reprimanding and we played musical stroller seats a bit until we got the right combination but we did it and it felt so good. It was exactly what I needed. And I just love how Mimi knew it all along and I didn’t even have to express the need or even know what the solution was! That’s an incredible mom who knows her daughter, for you.
It’s funny to me, the paradox of it all. Doing something when you have very little energy that requires a lot of energy resulting in an abundance of energy. I am utterly amazed at the difference it made, though, and how I felt it carried me through the week. I felt so much stronger physically, mentally and emotionally. And boy, am I learning how much of all 3 is needed to take care of 3 little ones well. I learned a very important lesson this week. I need to make opportunities for my jogs. It’s vital for balance in my life. I have to make it happen (or simply cooperate with Mimi’s courageous plans) because it made such a positive impact on my attitude, my level of patience, my emotional well-being. I’m able to serve my husband and kids better. I’m happier and consequently, my family is happier. I’m not sure how often I will need it yet but I sure would love to make it our Monday tradition, at least until the rainy days come, and then maybe we can make it a yoga/stretching while sipping apple cider sort of work-out. 😉
Thank you Mimi for taking such good care of us and knowing what is good for us. For always stepping outside of yourself and being so unselfish and giving. For the talks, the good meals. For rocking babies to sleep so I can rejuvenate myself, take a nap, spend special time with my Spicy, or my Sweet, or my Serious one. For the fun times! You are so enjoyable to be with and I always look forward to our time together, jog or no jog. But let’s definitely keep it up! 🙂